05 March 2008

Super (Talented) Delegates Really Might Decide: Clinton or Obama

Well, Hillary is back again. Just when you thought you'd heard the last of her spine-severing pitch, along comes Texas and Ohio. While Obama still retains the overall delegate lead, the race is a tight one and there are growing indications that the Democratic nominee will not be decided by the vote of the people, but by the will of "Super Delegates" who have been given this power because they apparently posses a talent beyond the scope of mere mortal voters that will allow them to override the people's choice if deemed necessary.

Many of these "Super Talented Delegates" (henceforth referred to as "STDs") have already attached themselves to one candidate or the other (though we have recently seen that when a candidate catches an STD they might quickly pass to somebody else). The remaining STDs are biding their time, presumably waiting to eventually infect themselves on the candidate who either wins the popular vote or is identified as most electable.

Winning the popular vote will take care of itself, but determining which candidate is most electable may prove a tricky proposition. But then it's tricky propositions that attract STDs.

There are certainly some electability negatives to consider concerning each candidate. For Hillary, well, the name "Clinton" will have Republicans opening their checkbooks faster than a revival sinner on Easter Sunday. And her forced smile is enough to send even the most loyal follower to confession ("Forgive me, Father, for what I am about to do in the voting booth"). And Barack, oh his inexperience consistently demonstrates a foreign policy naivety that makes Pebbles Flintstone seem worldly wise. And just wait for those charming I'm-for-change policy quips to fall under the scrutiny of Republican shock troops who are immune to Obamamania.

As for their positives . . . well, I guess the big one is that both of them are guaranteed to be running against a Republican.

So what will the STDs decide given the daunting nature of the task? Strike that. Why will the STDs decide? We now have a relatively small group of people who may well be making a decision that will impact the future of this country. I don't know about you, but I've tried to practice safe politics and it seems there is nothing I can do to protect myself from this. The STDs are here. The STDs may decide our future. Lord, I need medication.