18 April 2009

Janeane Garofalo Says, You Know You're A Racist Redneck

According to failed-talk-show-host-but-ever-wanting-to-be-noticed Janeane Garofalo,

You may be a redneck if . . . no, no, you ARE a stupid racist redneck if:

  • You attended a May 15th tea party protesting Obama's tax policies.
  • You think America only has 50 states.
  • You question why the President signed an executive order to fund foreign abortions when we can't pay our own bills.
  • Your historical knowledge exceeds the Vice President's because you know when the stock market crashed Franklin Roosevelt (who wasn't president) didn't go on TV (which wasn't readily available) to talk about.
  • You think the Constitutional right to bare arms actually has something to do with guns.
  • You like your presidents to be confident without a teleprompter.
  • You've never told a man in a wheelchair to "stand up and take a bow."
  • You question adding billions to fund scientific research on embryonic stem cells that has yet to net a single medical breakthrough while other cell research has been successful.
  • You don't blame yourself for the murderous actions of radical Islamic terrorists.
  • Your historical knowledge exceeds the President's because you know his uncle who never served in the military could not have been among the Russian troops that liberated Auschwitz.
  • You actually pay your taxes.
  • Oh, and you actually pay your mortgage too.
  • You don't want God to damn America . . . if your silly enough believe in God in the first place.
  • You're not willing to rip the Constitution to give Washington D.C. is own vote in congress.
  • You've never volunteered for Acorn.
  • You're a senator in Illinois but you don't know that it shares a border with Kentucky.
  • You want limitations on Federal government.
  • You've never shopped for royalty at Best Buy.
We all saw it coming over a year ago. When you disagree with Obama's policies there'll be a hate-mongering lightweight "thinker" like Janie Anne stepping up to call you a stupid, redneck racist.

She doesn't want to have an intellectual debate because her philosophical world view cannot support it. So instead she turns to the tried and true technique liberals always use when people challenge their perspective . . . begin name calling in an attempt to invalidate your argument.

Sorry, Garfoolo, we're here to stay.