Congratulations To Jenna And Henry On Your Wedding Day

I've been struggling all week over what to give Jenna Bush as a wedding gift. Today she is joined with Henry Hager in Holy matrimony and indecision has kept me waiting until the last minute to send a token of my best wishes. To be fair, and I always like to be fair to myself, just what was I supposed to send to a woman who seems to have everything? She is marrying a Republican, she is from a family of means, her father is the leader of the free world and she's pretty easy on the eyes. My usual musical card and Best Buy gift certificate just didn't seem to fit the bill. Well, after much thought and consideration I have finally settled on a couple of things which I hope they will appreciate.

Jenna and Henry,
My first gift is heartfelt hope for your happiness through this sacred Apache wedding prayer.

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place
To enter into the days of your togetherness
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

My second gift to you is appropriate for any occasion and I'm sure you will love it, love it, love it. So enjoy this picture of Cha-Ka the Pakuni.

Congratulations, Jenna and Henry!

Kwami Kilpatrick: Lady In Red

What would a day in Detroit be like without another Mayoral controversy? Perhaps like a day in Chicago, or Cleveland, or Indy. Well, all I can say is thank God we don't have their boring run-of-the-mill big city politics and their ho-hum humming cities of economic growth. *Yawn*. No, instead give me a mayor who race baits, mismanages city funds and dresses in drag.

The Hill recently reported that Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick appeared in a play while he was in Middle School dressed as a women. According to reports, that's him below, fourth from the left in that sexy red dress with the plunging neckline.

What's really interesting about this story is not that the mayor dressed as a girl while he was a kid performing in Dwight Rich Middle School's production of "Little Annie." I mean, what guy hasn't at least once slipped on a soft silky dress just to feel its liberating comfort lovingly caress every curve of his body? Um, I mean, metaphorically. But what is really interesting is how vehemently the mayor's office denied the "allegation" and attacked the media for suggesting such a thing, despite the fact that the Kilpatrick attended the school at the time of the picture, his name was on the playbill, and several people from the school remember him in the play. His press secretary, Denise Tolliver, went so far as to say, "I know what he looked like as a child. This is not the mayor."

Twenty-four hours after flatly denying that he was in the play, Kilpatrick changed his mind. As The Detroit News reports:

Kilpatrick says he still doesn't remember appearing in the play, but does not argue with the recollections of director Michael Crabb, who was his favorite teacher. Crabb told Kilpatrick in a telephone call today that the mayor and other student athletes donned dresses to play Annie's mothers, Kilpatrick said. Kilpatrick said he and the other jocks then ran off the stage once they realized they were not getting any reward money. The bit lasted about two minutes, Kilpatrick said.

"I don't remember this at all," the mayor said, noting he called an old schoolmate who told him "If Mike Crabb said it then it definitely happened."

Kilpatrick said his mother and sister did not remember him donning a dress for the bit, but said he is certain he did not shave his legs for the role.

Luckily for all of us, the mayor clarified the whole leg-shaving concern. But the real question is why he denied his part in the play in the first place, only to later provide the Lilliputian response that he had just forgotten. It seems such a silly issue to try to cover up so why do it? Is it because his administration is so prone to denial that it auto-sprays from their lips like rotten milk after an accidental sip? Is it because the mayor thought it would ruin his gangsta image? Is it because red isn't his color?

Whatever the reason it's just another troubling response from the Manoogian Mansion that makes me about as comfortable as Sean Penn taking an IQ test.

Hillary Still Trying To Climb That Mountain

I just made it home from an exhausting business trip to New York and was going to lay off blogging for a couple of days to catch up on a few minor things like sleep and more sleep after taking a shower with soap that wasn't supplied by a hotel with the obvious intent of sanding off seven layers of skin. But while waiting for my flight from LaGuardia I heard a couple of TSA controllers speculating about Hillary's chances for a comeback with a confident, "Not for nuttin' but I thinks she could do it," and I felt the urge to write something about her continuing struggle no matter how incoherent it will seem in the morning.

As reported by Fox, the former first lady still has no intention of finishing second in this race.

“I landed in New Hampshire on a Thursday night down 9 points, and I won on Tuesday,” she said. “You can turn elections in a day. You can turn them in a week if you know what it takes to actually win. I believe I know with your help, that is exactly what we’re going to do.”

Forget the fact that the New Hampshire primary happened around the same time Republicans were preparing for Giuliani's coronation. And forget that Obama just pummeled her in North Carolina and was surprisingly close Indiana. And don't even think about the fact that several new Super talented Delegates moved into the Obama camp after Tuesday's results. Hillary is convinced that “It is a new day. It is a new state. It is a new election.” God bless the little engine that could, but it may be time to admit that Mrs. Clinton's choo-choo has run out of chug-chug.

Until Tuesday I still thought that the ole Clinton magic might keep her in the race long enough to pull a political Houdini and win the nomination, but North Carolina was a punch in the stomach that absolutely ruptured her chances. And worst of all, I now have a bitter taste in my mouth from agreeing with Ted Kennedy.

“It’s effectively a Barack Obama nomination,” said Massachusetts Sen. Ted Kennedy. “I don’t see any possibility of altering or changing that inevitable fact … I respect her decision, but it doesn’t take away from the obvious, an increasingly obvious, fact that this nomination belongs to Barack Obama now.”

Of course, it still benefits McCain for the race to continue so I hope Hillary keeps trying to climb that mountain. But I can't delude myself any longer. Barack Obama will be the nominee.

Obama's Plan To Raise Oil Tax

I've spent months complaining that Obama never talks about the issues. Oh, he can give a pretty TelePromted speech that would make Cyrano blush, but what does all this talk about "change" really mean when there's never any substance to explain what he means by "change." And we all understand that he is for the future, which apparently means that those who don't support him are against it, but what future is he striving to reach?

Of course, every once in a while Obama slips up and provides some insight into his political agenda. And every time he does we understand why he tends to avoid specifics since the details tend to make him look about as savvy as Wile E Coyote. Take, for example, his plan to tax oil. Now this plan makes about as much sense as anything else unpacked from an Acme box. According to Bloomberg.com

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama's proposal for a windfall profits tax on oil companies could cost $15 billion a year at last year's profit levels, a campaign adviser said. The plan would target profit from the biggest oil companies by taxing each barrel of oil costing more than $80.

And why should a president levy this particular tax?

"The profits right now are so remarkable that one could trim them 10 percent or
so, which would turn out to be somewhere in the $15 billion range,'' said Jason Grumet, an adviser to the Obama campaign.

Ah, yes, of course! It's the old liberal mantra. Because big oil is greedy. Because big oil is rich. Because big oil would react like any company and pass along the cost of the tax to employees, retirement plan investors and the consumers . . . oh, wait, Barack probably has thought that far ahead. But rest assured it would happen. And why would big oil pass along the cost? Because they're not as powerful or profitable as the liberal mantra would have you believe.

To understand the full picture, check out the post Obama, Big Oil and fun with charts on the Q and O Blog. I couldn't give the article full justice so I suggested you read it in its entirety (besides, there really are some pretty charts there). But just in case you're looking for some highlights in simply digestible bullet-point form, The Khaki Elephant as always, is here for you. These are some of the key observations from the charts:

• Only 11% of oil reserves are held by independent oil companies.
• The companies that Obama would like to see hit have a relatively small potion of the reserves (ExxonMobil 0.62%, Chevron 0.50% & ConocoPhillips 0.51%)
• As far as profits, Oil was not the big-boy on the block as they were outstripped by beverages, apparel, aerospace, pharmaceuticals, electronics/appliances, computers equipment, chemicals and machinery while finishing just above furniture (just wait, Maytag, Barack could be gunning for you and that slacker repairman next).
• The average breakdown of what a consumer pays at the pump for gas is 58% for the crude, 17% for refining, 15% for taxes, 10% for retailing with around 8.3% profit . . . less than most industries.

So "Big Oil" is not the profit slut that we've all been warned to avoid, but there is some profit. So when Obama attacks "big oil" who is he really attacking? Who is going to pay? Broken down by percentage, here's who owns these independent oil companies:

• 29% Mutual funds and other firms
• 27% Pension funds
• 23% Investors
• 14% IRAs
• 5% Institutional investors
• 1.5% Corporate insiders

So, it's not really a fat white guy with a fat black cigar who is going to pay for Obama's proposed tax on oil. It's fat (and skinny) folk of every color who have a retirement plan. It's fat (and skinny) folk of every color who curse and spit as they shove the gas pump nozzle into the tank as if it were Uncle Sam's arse. It's you and me, brothers and sisters. We're the ones Obama wants to tax.

UPDATE: Here's another post at the Pondering Penguin on the topic that is well worth the read:

Democrats Tax Success

Good Eats

I always knew that I had it in me!


Created by OnePlusYou

And here I was thinking about trying to lose weight and get in shape. I can't do that. I need to think about the cannibals.

The UN Proves Their Worth . . . After Lying About It, Of Course

How many more reasons do we need to loathe the United Nations. Oh, they have a pretty flag and I just love what they do with soft blue hues, but these cats make Grey Davis seem financially competent.

Just weeks before it announced the onset of a global food crisis and the urgent need for donors to provide at least $775 million in additional funding, the World Food Program was sitting on a cash and near-cash stockpile of more than $1.22 billion.

So it's not enough that the UN Barney Fifes every police action that they undertake, now their food to the needy task force is rife with either negligence, corruption or both. You see, it was just yesterday that U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon told the International Herald Tribune that the World Food Program (WFP) had only $18 million on hand and were in sore need of some fat cash . . . in fact, some $775 million in fat cash to cover rising costs. And if we don't give, the world will stay "locked in crisis."

His inspiring words would probably breathe many into action if not for an audit of WFP funds that was endorsed by the WFP’s executive director, Josette Sheeran. This audit tells the story of a $400 million increase over last year's WFP cash reserves, not a tale of declining funds. This audit claims that the organization should have around $1.22 billion on hand, not the $18 million the Secretary-General claims. It seems as though somebody in UN accounting may have moved a decimal point or two.

In the end you may be wondering why it matters. Is any amount of money too much when it comes to feeding the poor? Maybe not, unless you consider Ban Ki-moon's ominous promise on handling this issue.

To coordinate this work [of collecting funds], I will set up and chair a UN Task Force on the Global Food Crisis. I will leave no stone unturned to focus political will at the July meeting of the G8 nations in Japan and the high-level FAO conference on food security in Rome in early June. [emphasis added]

OK, maybe I'm being glass-half-empty on this one, but do we really want this guy as the chair of a task force on the global food crisis when he just missed the current fund level by around $1 billion? Color me cynical (which I take to be reddish-green) but after the UN's Food for Oil debacle do we really trust them to handle any important cash under any circumstances?

The Redwings Sweep The Avs

The Wings advance to the third round of the playoffs again. Let's hope this time they don't let their minds wander to Floridian links during a couple of future third periods.

Of course, even if they collapse, it was nice to see them play Ike to the Avalanche's Tina again. Even in my love-filled heart that is so often displayed on this blog, I just can find a happy place for the frickin' Avs.

Edward Brooke's Affair "Reported" By Barbara Walters

Edward Brooke (R-Mass) was the first African American to be elected to the U.S. Senate by popular vote. On Tuesday he will become the first African American Senator to have his sexual indiscretions outed on Oprah by Barbara Walters. And if that isn't enough to get you dialed in to the O next week, Walters will also confide that she was the object of Brooke's affair.

According to reports, Babs will reveal that she and the senator had an affair that lasted several years during the 70s while he was speaking with a voice that would give moderate Republicans hope and she was speaking with a lisp that would give SNL comedy gold.

''I was certainly involved,'' Walters said. ''He was exciting. He was brilliant. It was exciting times in Washington.''

Yes, I'll bet D.C. was exciting once this rising pair caught a case of jungle fever.

So why did the power couple finally end it? Because they knew it was a mistake? To preserve their families? Out of respect for God's sacrament? Because it was wrong? Nope, they were just worried about their careers. They may have forsaken much, but at least they clung to their priorities.

Christianity Vs. The Reverend Wright

Now here's what I consider a must-read post by Juliette over at baldilocks. It's got scripture. It's got cultural insight. It's got spiritual authenticity. It's got a powerful portrait of Reverend Wright. Oh, and it contains this step-stopping observation: "My own pastor says that God has special plans for shepherds—pastors—who mislead their flocks."

Check it out here:
View From Under The Bus

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's Text Messages

It's Christmas for voyeurs everywhere. The courts have delivered more Kilpatrick text messages to be unwrapped by all the naughty boys and girls who couldn't quite make Santa's nice list.

Click here to read some text messages concerning the Detroit police department.

Click here to read some text messages about mayoral influence and paranoia.

Click here to read some of the text messages that you actually came here to read, you sicko.

Fat Cash Farmers Where Are you?

We have a family farm in North Dakota that my oldest brother runs. At present they primarily grow three crops: soy beans, sugar beets, and money whine. I don't mind hearing about how the beets and beans are fairing, but I suddenly get a bad phone connection when he starts to whine about the financial struggles of family farms. "What's that? Furnace problems? The bills [crackle] sorry you're [crackle, crackle] you're, you're breaking up." The last thing I want to have is long-distance empathy for an agrarian sibling who used to lock me in the basement when mom and dad were away doing whatever it was that moms and dads did before Dr. Spock straightened them out.

Part of me thinks that he just wants to play it humble. I mean, I read the papers and things can't be that tough. According to the latest reports from the National Agricultural Statistics Service Soybeans value is up 51%, wheat (both winter and summer) value is up 62% and corn is up an astounding 110% since 2002. Humble shmumble, maybe my bro is just holding out on me. I'm sitting here losing hair and sleep in the struggling automotive industry while he's apparently living the high life as a fat cash farmer.

But, of course, that's not how it works. Despite some news reports that farmers are suddenly atop gilded combines due to an increased crop demand from "emerging countries" and the glory of ethanol, the costs of operation are increasing at a faster rate than profits. According to a recent report "costs are up across the board." Fuel costs have more than doubled over the past couple of years. Over the same span fertilizer has gone from $375 a ton to around $880 a ton. And equipment repair costs are up as much as 70%.

On top of the rising price of known variables, there are those annual gambles in farming that would drive Benny Binion to stable bond investments. Too little rain and the crops are at risk (even irrigation can't solve all of the problems since electricity in the air helps to release soil nitrogen). Too much rain and the beans stay green through harvest, reducing their value. Oh, and then there's the whole issue of when you contract. When can you get the best deal for your crops? Should you hold out a little longer and risk the weather? What about crop rotation? And should you invest in corn or other crops which could grow in value due to the scarcity created by your neighbors investing in corn?

So I guess that I should take it easy on my brother and listen when he talks about the economics of farming. Rising crop prices do not equate to rising profits. It is still a rough life and the rest of us need somebody to do it. But if I ever get a chance to trap him in a basement for an hour or so . . . let's just say I hope it's not a capital offence.


A somewhat meandering sidenote on ethanol: is it really a good idea to use food for fuel?

Shhhh. Don't Say The H-Word

George Carlin had the 7 words that you can't say on television. My Dad had the 2 words you couldn't say in the house without getting a belt welting. And now the political media has proclaimed the 1 word you can't say during the presidential campaign. Shhhh. Don't say the H-Word. It's bad. It'll make people think the wrong thing. It will make you feel all dirty inside. Oh, and that's not all. Using that kind of language just proves that you're base and stupid. Just ask the refined and brilliant Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

"Please run and tell my stuck-on-stupid friends that Arabic is a language -- is a language, it is not a religion," he said. "Barack HUSSEIN Obama," he said, emphasizing the Illinois senator's middle name dramatically, "Barack HUSSEIN Obama, Barack HUSSEIN Obama. There are Arabic-speaking Christians, there Arabic-speaking Jews, Arabic-speaking Muslims and Arabic-speaking atheists. Arabic is a language, it is not a religion. Stop trying to scare folks by giving them this Arabic name like it's some disease."

So, don't use the H-word. It doesn't matter if it's Barack's middle name. It doesn't matter if we use presidential middle names all the time like John Quincy Adams, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Richard Milhous Nixon, Ronald Wilson Reagan, George Herbert Walker Bush, William Jefferson Clinton, or even "W" himself. No, Barack HUSSEIN Obama's middle name is verboten. Using it is malicious and, and, well . . . naughty to the max.

If you absolutely (and I mean "absolutely") must make some reference to his full name than I suppose it's acceptable to use just the middle initial, which would surprisingly suit the savior status his surly supporters afford him. Barack H. Christ. I like it.

Dave Bing Drives Against The Mayor Of Detroit

Hall of Fame Point Guard, Dave Bing, brings the ball up court. Years after retiring from the Detroit Pistons to lead a successful Michigan business, he looks as graceful as he did during his peak playing days. He moves across halfcourt and eyes the towering form of Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick blocking his path to the basket. He silently mouths his determination.

"[Kilpatrick] has got to do what is best for the city at this point."

With practiced ease Bing passes the dribble between his legs and slides left, surveying the situation.

"He says he's not leaving and he can't be forced out soon."

The legendary Piston guard stutter-steps, fakes to pull up, then drives right.

"Anybody who thinks this is not hurting the city, the region, the state of Michigan has their heads in the sand."

Bing Know his opponent; knows the strength of his defense.

"There are a lot of people who are afraid to speak up, primarily the white business community, because they will be colored a racist because they're coming out against a black man."

But the Hall-of-famer has never backed down, no matter how tough the competition. He has never walked away from a challenge, even when others were ready to give up.

"I don't think race has anything to do with what we're going through."

Dave Bing snaps the ball between his legs again and bursts forward to the basket. He dips his left shoulder and presses in hard, forcing the defender to stumble back as he crosses into the paint.

"It's about right and wrong."

The ball pops off the wood floor and up, up into his hand as Bing jumps forward, left knee up and right leg long, ball held high.

"It's about accountability."

He shifts the ball from right to left hand, fading slightly away from basket as he finger rolls the ball up between Kilpatrick's flailing arms and off the glass.

"It's about leadership."

Swish. Dave Bing Scores!

You can read more about Dave Bing posting up Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick here in The Detroit News.

Does The Media Really Have A Liberal Bias?

Ever wonder if there really is a liberal bias in the media? If so, you should check out Freadom Nation's excellent post on the subject.

And if you actually were wondering about a liberal bias in the media, here are a few resources for some other questions that you probably have:

Is Big Bird really yellow?

Is the Pope really Catholic?

Is the Eiffel Tower really in France?

Does a bear really . . . I mean, really?

The Vampires Have Bested Blade

The wannabe-undead evil familiars couldn't stop him. A hate-filled army of Vampires couldn't stop him. Not even the fanged lord Count Dracula himself could stop him. No, only the most powerful bloodsucking entity ever to stalk the earth could stop the warrior known only as "Blade." And no garlic, no stake nor even light of day can ward off the bitter bite of the IRS.

Wesley Snipes (aka, Blade) has been sentenced to three years in prison on tax charges. Apparently while wielding his sword in defense of witless mortals he willfully failed to pay $2.7 million in back taxes. The IRS parried his attempts to ignore the law, then lunged to his throat with a three-year conviction for which Blade will serve one year of supervised release.

Blade has been bested. Where shall we now turn?