Angelina Jolie Calls Barack Obama A Socialist

Khaki Elephant fav Angelina Jolie has finally (if temporarily) broken the tabloid tongue wags of "Brangelina" with a recent US Weekly article where the actress is credited with dissing "The One."

According to the report,

"She hates him [Obama]," a source close to the U.N. goodwill ambassador, 34, tells the new issue of Us Weekly . . . "She's into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise," adds the source.

Now, I'm a fan of Jolie's work and if I were Brad Pitt, beyond always walking around in speedos with a wink, I would without a doubt tap Jolie over Aniston, but I have to admit that I couldn't care less about her politics. I don't care what Hollywood lefties like Sean Penn, David Letterman or Alec Baldwin have to say about world affairs because they have no idea what they're talking about. If they want to drop some wisdom about drug rehab then I'll bow to their expertise, but please don't ask me to listen to their input on economic policy or the military. I feel the same way about celebrities when they agree with me.

So don't expect The Khaki Elephant to spend time talking about Jolie's insight concerning Obamunism . . .unless it is shamelessly used as an excuse to post a saucy picture of her.

Alec Baldwin: "Pull the plug" on Detroit

Alec Baldwin has taken some time away from verbally abusing family members to fire his barbs at the American auto industry. His background in the industry is nearly as impressive as his parenting skills. As he put it, "I was the voice of Chevy Tahoe TV spots for five years in the early 90's. I drove a Tahoe then and loved it. Now, I drive a Prius." I know what you're thinking, just because he picked up a check (and a complimentary Tahoe) for reading a few lines for a 30 second TV spot, it hardly makes him an expert. But when you think about it, that brief brush with the industry equates to more automotive experience then Barack Obama's appointment for Car Czar.

So recently Alec Baldwin used his vast automotive knowledge in a Huffington Post editorial to spew what may be the most ignorant assessment of American automotive products since . . . since Obama said, "I'm not an auto engineer. I don't know how to create an affordable, well designed plug-in hybrid, but I know if the Japanese can design an affordable, well designed plug-in hybrid then, doggone it, the American people should be able to do the same."

Alec Baldwin decided to reach beyond simple stupidity and, like a host of good liberals, turned to a plagiarized potpourri of poppycock to deliver this misinformed indictment:

"I've owned Mercs, Chevys, Fords and Jeeps. I'm in the market for a new car now. I'll probably get a hybrid from a Japanese company . . . I'd like to buy an American car, but I'd feel like a fool doing that now. The leadership of the biggest automakers made sure of that.

"There can be only one legitimate response to this crisis. Let energy conservation and fuel efficiency rule the day. Let the carmakers go under. In the same way we have subsidized Big Oil by destabilizing the governments of petroleum rich countries, or outright invading them, we have subsidized Detroit long enough. Just as every barrel of oil is undervalued because we do not factor in that portion of the defense budget that helped bring that oil to market, so we have undervalued our government's, and therefore our, complicity in producing cars that not only were inferior, but drove Detroit itself right off a cliff.

"From the ashes of such great innovation, hard work, beautiful design and extraordinary branding-as-myth-making, let's have better cars.

"From the ashes of arrogance, greed and corporate cowardice, let's have better cars.

"Until then, pull the plug."

Oh, I could talk about Baldwin's tired left-wing cliche that the "problems" with the American industry falls on the shoulders of those greedy corporate leaders. And I could dissect his absurd contrivance to work in the Iraq war as being a ploy to destabilize the area for the sake of big oil (because we all know how stable the area was with Saddam running amok, what with his invasions of Iran and Kuwait, gassing of the Kurds and firing missiles into Saudi Arabia and Israel). But what annoys me today about Alec's drunken rant (at least I hope he has alcohol to blame for this nonsense) is his unstudied belief that the Japanese are making superior cars to what rolls out of Detroit today.

Rather than actually look at what Detroit is producing, the Democrats and their lackeys continue to beat the drum of their own calculated world view that the Americans cannot compete with Japanese technology. And their ignorance is perpetuated in the current anti-American TV media. Readers note: I did not say that the TV media lacks patriotism, but I have no choice but to call someone anti-American when they persist in claiming that a foreign product is superior to and American version despite evidence to the contrary. Well, come to think of it, I did have a choice. I could refer to them as "jackholes."

Unlike Baldwin, actual industry experts have compared his precious Prius to an American entry into the hybrid arena, the Ford Fusion. The verdict: the Ford Fusion is the preferred car. According to USA Today: "The Ford is much more pleasurable to drive." U.S. News and World Reports says, "OK, let's just get it out there: The 2010 Ford Fusion hybrid is the best gasoline-electric hybrid yet." And these publications aren't even looking at the fact that the Fusion scored a 5-star crash test rating while the Prius crash testers were seeing stars of another kind. And Fusion offers Sync, the most sophisticated in-car communications and entertainment system available in the automotive world.

But none of this matters to the likes Alec Baldwin. Now I'm asking myself why he matters at all. I guess it's his charm.

Janeane Garofalo Says, You Know You're A Racist Redneck

According to failed-talk-show-host-but-ever-wanting-to-be-noticed Janeane Garofalo,

You may be a redneck if . . . no, no, you ARE a stupid racist redneck if:

• You attended a May 15th tea party protesting Obama's tax policies.
• You think America only has 50 states.
• You question why the President signed an executive order to fund foreign abortions when we can't pay our own bills.
• Your historical knowledge exceeds the Vice President's because you know when the stock market crashed Franklin Roosevelt (who wasn't president) didn't go on TV (which wasn't readily available) to talk about.
• You think the Constitutional right to bare arms actually has something to do with guns.
• You like your presidents to be confident without a teleprompter.
• You've never told a man in a wheelchair to "stand up and take a bow."
• You question adding billions to fund scientific research on embryonic stem cells that has yet to net a single medical breakthrough while other cell research has been successful.
• You don't blame yourself for the murderous actions of radical Islamic terrorists.
• Your historical knowledge exceeds the President's because you know his uncle who never served in the military could not have been among the Russian troops that liberated Auschwitz.
• You actually pay your taxes.
• Oh, and you actually pay your mortgage too.
• You don't want God to damn America . . . if your silly enough believe in God in the first place.
• You're not willing to rip the Constitution to give Washington D.C. is own vote in congress.
• You've never volunteered for Acorn.
• You're a senator in Illinois but you don't know that it shares a border with Kentucky.
• You want limitations on Federal government.
• You've never shopped for royalty at Best Buy.

We all saw it coming over a year ago. When you disagree with Obama's policies there'll be a hate-mongering lightweight "thinker" like Janie Anne stepping up to call you a stupid, redneck racist.

She doesn't want to have an intellectual debate because her philosophical world view cannot support it. So instead she turns to the tried and true technique liberals always use when people challenge their perspective . . . begin name calling in an attempt to invalidate your argument.

Sorry, Garfoolo, we're here to stay.

Was Obama Punch Drunk?

Not since Paris Hilton have we seen somebody so in love with their own celebrity. Wait, hasn't somebody already made that comparison? Anyway, unlike most presidents who spend their time meeting with skilled advisers, showing respect to allies and hiring people who haven't cheated on their taxes to run the IRS, our current president thinks the way to run a country is to take your economic plan on the road and feed it to the people via late night TV and Jay Leno. Yes, he was the first sitting president to appear as a guest on a late night talk show -- it seems all of his predecessors thought their role as leader of the free world included a little splash of dignity. But nobody who has looked at Obama's stimulus package will deny that it belongs on the Tonight Show since it may have been authored by a Jay Walking allstar. Ah, and the laughs didn't stop with Leno . . .

Barack Obama has taken his government giggle fest to 60 minutes where he snickered his way through an analysis of the country's current financial woes. Even interviewer Steve Kroft was surprised by Obama's cavalier attitude, asking, "Are you punch-drunk?"

“You're sitting here. And you're— you are laughing. You are laughing about some of these problems. Are people going to look at this and say, ‘I mean, he's sitting there just making jokes about money—’ How do you deal with— I mean: explain. . .”

So yuck it up America, he'll be here all week. In fact, he'll be here three more years. Try the veal.

Watchmen Movie Review

I'm a comic book fan, have been since I was a kid, and like many others I'd place The Watchmen at the summit of graphic tales. So I admit that I expected to be disappointed with the movie. Oh, I figured there was some hope. I mean, Spider-man, the X-Men and the Dark Knight all proved that Hollywood can dress up in tights in front of the camera with as much vigor as they do in casting rooms, but still . . . this is The Watchmen.

I'm happy to report that I loved the flick. It was long, pushing 3 hours, but a close and power translation of the original graphic novel. And director Zack Snyder did a wonderful job of casting lesser known actors who looked and interpreted their parts better than had he tried an Ocean's 11 (or 12 or 13) approach by trying to draw an audience with Brad Pitt and that George guy.

*MINOR SPOILER ALERT*

And speaking of Zack Snyder, is he a homosexual or what? Those of you who've been here before know that I support gay rights, finding Christian arguments against homosexuality weakly supported by scriptures and a Republican argument against homosexuality in conflict with the Republican idea of personal freedom. (For a full explanation of my take, check out Homosexuals, Republicans And The Holy Ghost.) So I say this not as a pejorative attack, but as a legitimate question.

I know Zack Snyder is on his second marriage. Well, I know it as I read it on the Internet. But then I think . . . his most famous film prior to this was 300, which was obviously named after how gay that movie is on a scale of 1 to 10. And now he gives us The Watchmen where there are far too many scenes with a clear view of Dr. Manhattan's junk. In the comic we see Dr. Manhattan's wardrobe get less and less as the story progresses and he moves toward his eventual disconnect with humanity. But in the movie it's a quick jump from Speedos to too, too much of the blue.

I'm just sayin'

Politics At The Oscars

Seriously, did you really doubt that Sean Penn was going to win the Oscar. I was pulling for Mickey Rourke, so much so that I picked him in the office pool . . . OMG (as the kids would say) have office pools sunk to this? Ah, but in my heart I just knew Penn was going to walk away with another golden naked man. And why wouldn't he, this guy is everything current Hollywood celebrates.

Movie Quiz:

1. How many Hollywood productions in the last few years have portrayed America as that shining city on a hill?
2. Name a recent Oscar nominated film that portrayed the U.S. military and/or intelligence agencies in a positive light?
3. Why doesn't Natalie Portman win the friggin' Oscar every year???

You can guess the answers to #1 & #2 (#3 I fear is destined to be an eternal mystery). When it comes to passing out Oscars, Hollywood is more concerned with making a statement than honoring the best. How else can you explain the fact that they gave Michael Moore an Oscar despite the fact that he's never actually made a documentary?

And this year Penn was perfectly positioned to win the statue, having giddily completed Hollywood's hate America checklist.

• Called for the impeachment of George W. Bush: [X]
• Praised the humanity of an international butcher like Hugo Chávez: [X]
• Applauded a socialist dictator like Fidel Castro: [X]
• Play a gay activist after the passage of Prop 8: [X]
• Talk about defacing the flag (thought he prefers "cum stains" to burning): [X]
• Criticize the war in Iraq using bogus data: [X]
• Attack Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly: [X]
• Lay some smack on Christianity: [X]
• Have a frequent flyer drug rehab card: [X]
• Photographed partying with a fellow loser like Lindsey Lohan: [X]
• Take credit for electing Barack Obama: [X]

The bottom line is that this guy couldn't lose. And a tip for next year: anybody who hates the American way this much had better have their speech prepared.

5 Friends: Don't Vote Obama

Speaking of Hollywood . . .

Movie Review: An American Carol

It's not as funny as Airplane (the one without William Shatner). It's not as clever as The Naked Gun (the one with O.J.). But it still has Leslie Nielson and plenty of laughs . . . especially if you find humor in the parody of Hollywood and the radical left.

David Zucker's latest film, An American Carol, is a dramatic departure from what we're used to seeing from Hollywood these days. This film is unabashedly pro-American, unreservedly anti-terrorism, and unconventionally (by current film standards) supportive of the U.S. military -- even going so far as to portray them as heroes.

SORTOF SPOILER:
The film is set in the framework of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, but in this version Scrooge is replaced by a voluminous, radical left-wing "documentary" maker named Michael Malone (who may just be a parody of voluminous, radical left-wing "documentary" maker, Michael Moore). And while the lead hater in Dickens' tale humbugged Christmas, Zucker's lead wants to abolish the 4th of July.

Like the original, Zucker's character is visited by four spirits. The first, replacing Bob Marley . . . no wait, that was Jacob Marley . . . is John F. Kennedy, who attempts to correct Michael Malone's perception of his presidency (though the Kennedy spectre makes no reference to the fact that he was a supporter of supply-side economics like Ronald Reagan and would call Obama's fiscal plan "economic suicide"). Kennedy then warns that there will be a visit from three spirits, who turn out to be General George Patton, President George Washington and The Angel of Death (country music star, Trace Atkins). He failed to warn Malone about the other visitors he would encounter like the undead ACLU lawyers, brain-dead protesters and conscience-dead terrorists. Oh, and the movie also has career-dead Gary Coleman!

Like the original Carol, the visits have a life-changing effect on Malone. But I'll save that for the cinema.

Do I recommend the film? Yes. It's not going to win an Oscar, but it has some funny moments and some thought provoking concepts (especially concerning the first Republican president and slavery). If nothing else, your visit to the cinema will tell Hollywood that Americans really do like films that admire America.

Go out. Take a date. Give David Zucker some support. And if you're a left-wing radical: go out. Take a date. Know your enemy.

Obama Supporters Get In Your Face

Following Barack Obama's recommendation, storm troopers from the left have stepped up their "in your face" outRAGEous attacks in an effort to secure the nomination.

Sandra Bernhard, who much to my surprise is apparently still "performing," fired a volley referring to Sarah Palin as a "whore" an "uncle woman" and a "turncoat bitch" and even goes so far as to warn Palin not to come into Manhattan or she might just get gang-raped by some of Sandra’s big black brothers. It's a strange bit of hate coming from a person like Bernhard, especially since Columnist Heather Mallick assured the world that Sarah Palin had wrapped up the white trash vote.

Woody Allen also stepped in, claiming that a vote for Obama "represents a huge step upward from (the) incompetence and misjudgement" of the current White House. Perhaps he is talking about the type of misjudgement that would drive a man to, I don't know, bump uglies with his adopted daughter for example?

Of course, the "classy, get in your face" policy is not just being carried out by entertainers; it's also coming from elected officials within the Democratic party, like NY Congressman Charles Rangel who, when asked why Democrats are so afraid of Palin and her popularity replied, "You got to be kind to the disabled" (a response he repeated when asked to clarify). This from a guy who is somehow able to avoid paying mortgage interest on a beach resort property for about 15 years. This from a childish buffoon who somehow is the chairman of the powerful House Ways & Means Committee. This from a troglodyte (been waiting for the right moment to use that word) who somehow makes a "disabled" crack against a woman with the courage and commitment to raise a child who is truly disabled.

Obama's supporters will be in your face for the duration.

Remember and vote.

Night Terrors For Matt Damon

Formidable political analyst, Matt Damon, is terrified of the possibility that Sarah Palin, a qualified woman who has served as a mayor and a governor, could become president after John McCain's death in office (which has apparently become a foregone conclusion among liberals). While explaining his belief that Sarah Palin was added to the McCain ticket for "political purposes," perhaps missing the point the politicians are appointed by definition for "political purposes," Damon pondered a Palin presidency.

"It's like a really bad Disney movie," [Damon] said. "The hockey mom, you know, 'Oh, I'm just a hockey mom'... and she's facing down [Russian] President Putin... It's totally absurd... It's a really terrifying possibility."

Other things that terrify Matt Damon:

• Hockey mom doctors who have gone to medical school
• Hockey mom lawyers who have passed the bar
• Hockey mom teachers who are certified
• Hockey mom police officers with training and a badge
• Hockey mom CEOs who have risen to the top of their profession
• Polysyllabic words

However, Damon is evidently fearless when it comes to the prospect of a memoir-writing legislator who has never written notable legislation in his brief career stepping directly into the presidency.

Kathy Hilton Calls McCain Ad Frivolous . . . Really . . . Seriously . . . She Did . . . I'm Not Kidding

Kathy Hilton, proud mother of Paris Hilton, is a little miffed by John McCain's latest political ad. Oh, she seemed fine with her daughter running panty-free. She was silent concerning the embarrassing results of her child's time in a recording studio. She even failed to yank that silly dog from her girl's paws. But when you compare her baby to a presidential candidate -- you awaken the beast.

The Hilton matriarch let her thoughts fly on The Huffington Post, which should tell you everything you need to know about the flight pattern of those thoughts.

I've been asked again and again for my response to the now infamous McCain celebrity ad. I actually have three responses. It is a complete waste of the money John McCain's contributors have donated to his campaign. It is a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs. And it is a completely frivolous way to choose the next President of the United States.

After reading Momma Hilton's three responses all I can say is: I guess two out of three ain't bad.

• It is a complete waste of the money John McCain's contributors have donated to his campaign.

Not exactly. From what I've been reading on the blogs and watching on MSNBC it has evidently become necessary to explain the difference between substance and celebrity to a great number of Americans.

• It is a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs.

Agreed. So, America, let's start to focus on unemployment and housing issues rather than celebrities like Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and . . . well, Barack Obama.

• And it is a completely frivolous way to choose the next President of the United States.

I couldn't agree more. Why not choose the next president based on, oh, I don't know, experience and insight? Or how about life choices and accomplishments? Or even something as simple as knowing that America doesn't have 57 states.