11 March 2009

Newt's 12-Step Plan To Stop The Drunken Stimulus Stumbles Of Obama

12-step programs have long proven to be an effective way to mitigate addiction. And the current administration has more addictions than a Hollywood casting call. They are addicted to spending. They are addicted to bailing out their financial backers. They're addicted to snatching power from the people. And, based on the president's recent appearances, they are addicted to the adulation of sycophantic losers looking for a handout.

We need 12 steps to recovery and we need them like Matt Damon needs a shot to the groin. And finally somebody who knows a little something about how the American economy works is here to deliver a plan.

In 1994 Newt Gingrich led his fellow Republicans with the introduction of The Contract with America, a philosophical shift in congressional thinking aimed at achieving fiscal responsibility. In 1996, Gingrich sacrificed his own reputation at the hands of the left-wing media when he decided to lead the GOP in shutting down the government until President Bill Clinton reeled in his spending proposals. The result . . . some fiscal responsibility on the part of Washington. Of course, the liberal lapdog press barked at Gingrich with attack after attack (only to later praise their intern-bonking, China-empowering presidential hero for "balancing the budget"). Gingrich was about protecting the American economy through practical and difficult decisions no matter what it cost him in popularity.

Well, Newt is back.

And he has a plan that, unlike the dollar dropping derangement displayed by Pelosi-Reid-Obama, shows how fiscal responsibility leads to prosperity. So fresh from American Solutions, a real stimulus plan.

The plan summary:

  1. Reduce the Business Tax Rate. Match Ireland’s rate of 12.5% to keep more jobs in America. Have you seen the remarkable climb of Ireland's economy? And this from a country that doesn't even use it's hands when dancing.
  2. Abolish Taxes on Capital Gains. Match China, Singapore and many other competitors. More investment in America means, are you ready for this . . . more jobs in America.
  3. Controlling Spending So We Can Move to a Balanced Budget. This begins with eliminating Congressional earmarks and wasteful pork-barrel spending like the 9,000 found in the current stimulus bill the President Obama must have forgotten he promised to protect us against.
  4. Payroll Tax Stimulus. With a temporary new tax credit to offset 50% of the payroll tax, every small business would have more money, and all Americans would take home more of what they earn. It's the best Win/Win since
  5. Real Middle-Income Tax Relief. Reduce the marginal tax rate of 25% down to 15%, in effect establishing a flat-rate tax of 15% for close to 9 out of 10 American workers. It would be a concept perhaps foreign to the current administration . . . lowering taxes for people who actually pay taxes.
  6. Homeowner’s Assistance. Provide tax credit incentives to responsible home buyers so they can keep their homes. Key word check: RESPONSIBLE. (Note: this could also prevent Tea Parties.)
  7. No State Aid Without Protection From Fraud. Require state governments to adopt anti-fraud and anti-theft policies before giving them more money. Did you get that New York?
  8. More American Energy Now. Explore for more American oil and gas and invest in affordable energy for the future, including clean coal, ethanol, nuclear power and renewable fuels.
  9. Protect Our Right to Vote in the Workplace. We must protect a worker’s right to decide by secret ballot whether to join a union. Freedom is freedom is freedom.
  10. Replace Sarbanes-Oxley. This failed law is crippling entrepreneurial startups. Replace it with affordable rules that help create jobs, not destroy them. Dubya should have never signed it.
  11. Invest in Energy and Transportation Infrastructure. This includes a new, expanded electric power grid and a 21st century air traffic control system that will reduce delays in air travel and save passengers, employees and airlines billions of dollars per year.
  12. Abolish the Death Tax. Americans should work for their families, not for Washington. And frankly, this is a tax on money that has already been taxed . . . a tax so unamerican it should be named The Al Franken Tax . . . except that Al Franken tends not to pay taxes.


  1. Nikki said...

    Matt Damon absolutely needs a shot to the groin there is no doubt in my mind about that! He also needs to grow some hair on his peaches. :)N