I Hope Kenneth Cockrel Jr. Really Is Shrek

Once again Detroit Councilwoman Monica Conyers displayed the class of leadership that she and her husband have brought to the motor city for years. When she was upset by a ruling from Council President Kenneth Cockrel Jr., she started squealing, "you're not my daddy." Then, in a tantrum the envy of two-year-olds everywhere, called him "Shrek" several times, a pathetic attempted slight at Cockrel's large frame and bald head.

At first I was upset with Conyers. I wondered what right she had to launch shallow attacks at the Detroit Council President in a public debate. I mean, she and her husband, U.S. Congressman John Conyers, have used their power to help turn the D into a national joke, must they continue to embarrass the city and state? Then it struck me that maybe, just maybe, she was right.

I started to think about Shrek's story. He is large and bald, but his primary attribute is heroism. Now, I don't remember every element of the story but I seem to recall that Shrek went on a quest to save a captive princess, I think her name was "Detroit." Along the way, our hero had to best a dragon named Reputation and overcome a hubris-guided tyrant named Kwame. And just after Shrek befriended the dragon and saved Detroit, along comes a wicked Fairy God Mother named Monica who tried to claim power for herself.

In the end, Shrek and Detroit overcame their foes and plotted a path toward happily ever after. Let's hope the D's version of the tale has the same happy ending. Oh, I almost forgot that there was a jackass in the story. Now, who was that?