Warning: Eating Hot Dogs May Not Be Healthy

In yet another example of crack reporting, CNN has divulged that eating too many hot dogs may be "risky for kids." According to the report by CNN medical correspondent Elizabeth Cohen, eating one hot dog a day can increase your chance of cancer by 21%. The American Cancer Society currently considers nitrates in processed meat to be the primary culprit.

Not covered in the report are undocumented reports that one hot dog a day increases the chance of diarrhea by 28%, nausea by 31% and calling in sick to work by 33.37%