Yale's [stolen] Skull and Bones Society

This is either another reason to detest self-indulgent Ivy League jackholes, a ridiculous accusation, or one of the most fascinating grave robberies this side of Egypt. Descendants of Geronimo, the Apache chief and shaman who's name inexplicably makes jumping into water even more fun, have filed a lawsuit claiming that Yale's Skull and Bones secret society has possession of their famous ancestor's skull and they want it back.

According to Stephen Clark of Fox,

It's the stuff of legends: an elite secret society that includes what would become some of the most powerful men of the 20th century allegedly invading the grave of an Apache chief to steal his skull for fraternal rituals.

Skull and Bones has never said they have any Native American reliquary, but according to the tale prompting the lawsuit:

. . . in 1918, members of Skull and Bones, including Prescott Bush, the father of George H.W Bush and grandfather of George W. Bush, invaded Geronimo's grave at Ft. Sill and stole his skull, some bones and other items buried with him.

You just knew there had to be a Bush at the bottom of this! Aren't they to blame for everything lately? In fact, I'm pretty sure I spotted sweet Barbara Bush trying to sneak a 13th item into the express checkout at Meijer last Sunday.

But despite their entanglement in the tale, it is to the Bush's, or at least Former President George W. Bush, that Geronimo's grandson, Harlyn Geronimo, has turned for help outside of the lawsuit. "According to our traditions the remains of this sort, especially in this state when the grave was desecrated, need to be reburied with the proper rituals to return the dignity and let his spirits rest in peace," He explained. And since the current President is too busy spending billions of dollars in his unprecedented grab for power, the descendants of the legendary chief turn to the former leader of the free world to plead their case. If the story is true, I hope he listens.